the worthless emotion

“The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.” ~ Buddah

A whirlwind of options bow before you, begging you to sample each one before plunging your naïve feet into the waters of the world. You’re excited, you’re eager, you’re hungry for growth and then out of nowhere a suffocating chill engulfs you and you realise you have come face to face with FEAR.

The official definition of fear is; an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. Perfectly clear and understandable; something someone is apprehensive about due to an inhibition. My personal definition of fear is; something someone is unwilling to take part in due to the cushy comfort of their own territory. I.e.; not willing to push the boundaries of their comfort zone, or in even simpler terms; a human excuse.

The context in which I am referring to this ominous emotion of fear is in no certain time frame, it’s about personal growth, finding oneself and exploring the planet we have so graciously been given to frolic on as we please. Granted not everyone needs to physically up and travel in order to discover the vital lessons of life but I personally believe that you haven’t lived until you’ve had at least one unsettling adventure. For the remainder of this blog I invite you to invest your soul in my perspective, absorb the words and understand the message I will attempt to present. My perspective purely being that one cannot possibly go through life without exploring, learning and discovering. First and foremost in the form of a fearless traveller.

Allow me to share my first travelling experience as a young adult. Fresh out of college and at a loss at where to turn I leapt into a decision to go to China and in under a month I was on a plane bound for Beijing. I was so desperate to head out on my little mission that shortly after my arrival in Yanji city (Jilin province) my lack of research into what to expect started to show in a way that forced me into the darkest place I have ever found myself in. I won’t bore you with frivolous details but among monetary problems, mistreatment of human rights, an illegal visa and the Chinese mafia I was well and truly in the scariest situation I hadn’t the imagination to comprehend beforehand.  A month after my arrival in China, I was finished. I had supported my emotional well-being alone in a country where I didn’t have a single friend or a single shoulder to cry on and it was then that I collapsed into a downward spiral of fear and confusion. I had never been so unhappy in my life and yet when I realised there was no one around to hear my cries, I picked myself up, dusted myself off and went forth to make the most of a truly disastrous situation. I made no money. I made no friends. I made no happy memories. I gained strength. I gained self-reliance. I gained experience. A fair trade by my standards. My point here is not that I managed to survive hell but that I wouldn’t exchange those seven months for anything, they played a vital role in my growth and that is something worth being proud of. Had I caved to my fear I would have flown home to the safety net of my friends and family and I probably wouldn’t be on my second adventure taking on London. I am only human and I still fear but my mind has been blown, my boundaries stretched and my limits have vanished to a height unforeseen by the human eye.

Everyone wants different things. Everyone has different paths and different methods. Everyone chooses different journeys and destinations. No two people are the same in the way they choose to live their life. If any advice were ever taken from me, let it be; grab every opportunity to grow by the balls and my God take a moment to see what’s out there, the choices are infinite and fear is not an excuse.