The first proclamation

"Why is it said thou canst not live in a youthful breast

and fair, since thou eternal life canst give, canst bloom

forever there?"

~Shelley [May 1811]~

I must admit to being a self proclaimed gypsy, a dream I have happily allowed to  become a part of me. A dream that lived in my own shadow before I sought out the light for myself, a light that started dimly under deeply unsettling loss. This is the beginning to my journey, my tale of woe and glee begins in China.

I fell into society's greatest fear of the rebellious teenager. I was lost in my skin and threatened by my own mind. I yearned for freedom and on a whim went to China to escape the heavy drawl of my elders and my dying relationships with the people I had learnt to adore. China, if nothing else, was a period of disturbing self-reflection. A time when I took a pair of tweezers and picked at my life with finesse, a time when I broke myself down to nothing but dust purely to rebuild myself. I cannot put into mere words the desperate pain I endured nor the emotional challenges I faced on this adventure of self-discovery.

I came out after a grueling seven months of chaotic events and mind numbing experiences to find myself once again at home under parental care. I had grown into somebody I was proud of, somebody who still desired much education in the art of life, but ready to accept anything that was passed to me...whether on a silver platter or thrown in the gutter for finding.

It was in mid-February that my perception of life was rocked to the core. The most challenging hurdle to swallow and cope with, arriving so early after my freshly healed soul it really threatened to pick away at the scabs. On the 15th of February 2011, Dina Kontis, a true angel among men was ripped from us at a tender twenty two years old. My bravery suddenly dissolved as I fell apart and I truly believed that I too would lose myself again. To grasp the reality of losing such a dear friend in such maddening circumstances was near impossible. I drowned myself in surrealism, attempting every avenue to forget my breaking heart.

Dina could only have been sent from heaven, she was exploding with a zest for life that was without a doubt contagious. Her positivity ate at every cynic's brain and altered the sternest perceptions. It seems unfair that she be stolen from this world when she blessed so many lives with her powerful smile and her artistic intellect. A death is not something you get over, it is something you learn to deal with, you don't forget you merely accept.

Rest In Peace Dina <3

During the terrible mourning process, my eyes were unveiled to my own pity party and I decided to wake up every morning with Dina's breathtaking grin in my mind. She is the reason I face each coming day with the best attitude I can muster. She is the reason I decided to live my life for me. Dina always encouraged me to do what I love and now here I sit in England, my second adventure, with Dina in my heart and gypsy as my name. I intend to embrace who I am, accept every challenge and pack up and go when I feel like it. I can't be terrified of the world when I am living it for the both of us. This is who I have always wanted to be and I hope to continue revelling in the gift of positivity, it did after all come from an angel. Welcome to my nonsensical barefooted world of gypsy-ing.